VISUALLY DISTRACTED

The word "Visually distracted" itself says everything i want to say. Its all about the point of time when i had a hallucination and was totally disturbed with what i see around me.

I had been on Hash but later found out something else was mixed along the weed. 

I was tripping, restless and my heart was pumping like a moving train. There was something going in my mind. i was scared from the deep down and the fear had taken over me and my mind. Soon after i started having a short term memory loss, i was dehydrated. i was restless, my body temperature was raising. My legs wanted to walk and my body wanted to rest. I had a conflict with my body and my mind.....i was lost. I was having the hardest time of my life and at the same time i was afraid. I was speechless but millions of things were up and running in my mind. Those things repeatedly repeating is annoying me and on the other hand i am not being able to speak and this was making me more hyper. Despite of all the anger stored up i have a grim face and silence had locked my lips. I tried speaking up with my friends but they seemed scared seeing my situation. The scared friends faces also got locked in my mind and i was even more scared seeing them like that, Gradually experienced the extremest and thee worst part of smoking a Hash. I feel the blood running through my vain in a speed of a racing car. i was hyper and my legs were shaking like hell, ii could not speak up what i want to and my mind was like fighting for getting along. This is what i call being "Stoned".

 I remember everything very vivid, at times i acted like a calm and at times i tried responding to my friends but again i was lost. i remember drinking and ice-cold water like nothing and walking around the rain for hours. All this time i had a friend who stood by me. i remember at one time saying take rest and sit for a while and i replied "OK" but was standing all the time staring. This was really weird and i really want to get rid of this

feeling. i somehow managed to talk and asked my friend to take me upstairs in my room. the next thing i remember is i was sitting on my bed and all the others was asking me "how am i feeling"? I couldn't reply and was really really feeling so helpless. Then i somehow  managed to speak saying "i want to sleep" but again i couldn't. Later again after an hour or more i asked my friend to help me getting on my bed and this time i am laying on my bed but still millions of things were up and running in my head. My fear had reached the peak and was killing me slowly. I convinced my self and tried sleeping. The next morning i wake up all well and my mind working as fine as it was before. But the experience taught me a lot.

But suddenly after a month i realized that the time i was lost, i was "visually distracted" by hash but in real life i am still "Visually Distracted" by fake people all around me. Chasing fake people and sharing things with them. Calling them my friend was making me more weaker then hash did. My level of fear was to the top and it was only making me weaker and miserable. I left my true friend and was running behind the fake people calling them my friend and knowing that made me more helpless and left a grim on my face and sorrow on my heart for myself. 

Now i feel like being into drugs, atleast when i am drugged i can be on my own world either i am happy or sad its within my mind. No fake people to hurt me and no more wrong decision to cry for.

Being "Visually Distracted" by Drugs are so much better than being visually distracted by some wrong people around.